I wish I would have thought of this

It seems like this man has taken the words right out of my mouth.


Door To Door Atheists Bother Mormons - Watch more Funny Videos

New post, new dog

It's been so long since I've written that I had actually forgotten my password. That should mean there are so many things to write about. I should probably start with the new addition to the family. Eli. He's a 14 year old (give or take a year or 2) Min Pin. He was rescued from a hoarding house in Texas where there were almost 100 dogs and 4 cats. Here's an article about Eli's previous home. All of the animals were surrendered and spread throughout the country. He fits right in with the rest of the family, making it officially 2 humans, 3 dogs, and 2 cats. The only incidents have been with Rasheed Wallace, the cat, pouncing on him at inopportune times, scaring the shit out of him. Sometimes it's from the stairway, other times from the floor up to the couch. Rasheed is quite the character. It's difficult to tell if it's play pouncing like it is with Hank or "get the fuck out of here" pouncing like it would be with an enemy cat, or a 6 pound dog in this case. Either way, Eli sprints to the squirrel tree with Hank and Jack in the morning, gets excited about visitors and eating time with everyone else, and sleeps near my head in the bed, with Hank at my feet. It's like he has been here all along.

I stole this from my friend's Facebook page

Informal Holiday Drunk Driving Survey (in the classroom)

Me: Tell me what you already know about St. Patrick's Day.

Student: St. Patrick's Day is the holiday with the most drunk driving.

Me: Well you know St. Patrick's Day is not actually a holiday in the United States. We celebrate St. Patrick's Day here, but it is not considered a holiday. What do you think might be the holiday with the most incidents of drunk driving?

Random student answers: "New Year's!" "Christmas!" "Easter!", etc.

One student in particular: Saturday!

Me: Which Saturday?

One student in particular: All of them.

Me: Well you know Saturday isn't actually a holiday, it's just a day of the week.

One student in particular: Well, Russian New Year then.

Birth Control

HAHAHA

Today's Quote

Me: "What are some other expenses you might have on your monthly budget? Remember your monthly income is $1,563."

Student: "Best Buy."

Me: "What do you want to buy at Best Buy?"

Student: "I want to buy Best Buy."

Me: "You mean you want to actually buy Best Buy, the store?"

Student: "Yeah, I want to buy that store."

Oh Canada...

So, I'm not here to gloat about who the best country in the world is at hockey. It's obviously Canada and there did not need to be another double gold medal Olympic performance to prove it. What I am here to state my opinion about, briefly, is the post-gold performance celebration by the Canadian women caught on camera. I think it's hilarious. The only people who made a big deal about it (as far as I know) were the citizens of the United States. The only mistake I think the Canadians made were perhaps allowing the 18 year-old to be photographed. She probably should have slammed some beers in the locker room between photos and then returned to the ice to celebrate with her teammates. Or perhaps poured her beverage in a Pepsi bottle, or Coke bottle, like my mom used to do when she thought she was hiding her drinking from us. That would have done the trick. At any rate, the celebration photos only show that I am still proud of the two greatest parts of being Canadian: hockey and partying. Go Canada!